Toxic Stress Challenge: Which of The 6 Areas Are You Practicing to Overcome Your Adversity?

Random Acts of Vulnerability Blog: Volume 1, May 2020

“One of the most difficult things is not to change society — but to change yourself.” - Nelson Mandela

By: Dr. Michael Allen

I have often felt that I have to choose between the technical skills that I have acquired over the course of my professional career and humanistic skills that I have had in me since birth. This constant and often conflicting battle is more present today as we endure the brunt of the pandemic and its impact on communities of color and other marginalized groups. Four groups that standout are the ever-growing homeless population, folks living in nursing homes, people with diagnosed mental illnesses as well as Black and Latinx communities.

David Goggins, details a specific part of his 8th grade experience as a black boy in his New York Times best-selling book Can’t Hurt Me. In chapter 2, he highlights how his soon to be step-father, Wilmoth, was murdered in his garage in Indianapolis just days before he and his mother were supposed to move in with him. David had known Wilmoth since the 4th grade and had grown fond of taking part in father-son bonding activities like watching movies, playing basketball as well as celebrating birthdays and holidays. So it wasn’t surprising when he responded by punching his family’s refrigerator door leaving a dent in it when he found out about Wilmoth’s death. What was heartbreaking was David’s recollection of the news channel that night as he watched his step-father’s lifeless body being carted away over and over again. He explained that he endured the deepest level of emotional and psychological pain. Equally traumatic was David’s description of his mother’s response to Wilmoth’s passing. He noted that she refused to allow herself to cry, became “emotionally vacant” and faded into a “deep emotional abyss.”

David and his mother, like some many others were battling through aspects of toxic stress. As highlighted in the previous blog, toxic stress is the body’s natural response to a disruption to the stress response system often caused by a challenge, problem or threat.

Whether you realize it or not, the mere fact that you are living in a time where people are passing away before you have the information and opportunity to protect them leads to toxic stress. Similarly, the fact that 22 million people have lost their jobs in less than a month creates toxic stress. The emotional and psychological trauma that this pandemic is causing should not be overlooked. While you should be grateful for what you have and who you have, it is imperative that you get an accurate gauge and understanding of the toxic stress that you are currently enduring, most likely, without any knowledge.

One of the purest desires that a person can have is rooted in a need to have balance or homeostasis. Neuroscientists, quantum physicists and epigenesists all agree that the majority of human beings are living well below our full capacity.

In the words of David Goggins, “We all have areas in our lives we either ignore or can improve upon. Find yours. We often choose to focus on our strengths rather than our weaknesses.” I lovingly urge you to identify one or two of your weaknesses and put the necessary work into making them strength areas by the end of the pandemic.

Dr. Burke Harris' research on adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) helped to create some powerful toxic stress takeaways that can help you elevate your life to another level.

Her work along with David Goggins’ book helped to inspire me to start the Toxic Stress Challenge.

Please take some time to indicate which of the following 6 crucial areas to overcoming toxic stress you are practicing.

If you choose to participate in the Toxic Stress Challenge, please post the area that you selected on social media along with the #ToxicStressChallenge #VulnerabilityPower #HealingOverEverything. After you assess yourself in each area, pick 1 or 2 areas that need work and develop a goal to improve the area(s) in the next 3 months. For example, I selected exercise. This means that I committed to taking part in my physical fitness activity of choice for at least 30 minutes for 5 days a week (or totaling 2.5 hours per week). To hold myself accountable, I literally had to put the time and fitness activity in my calendar from Monday – Friday just like an important meeting or activity. Let’s get started. Assess yourself as you read the 6 crucial areas below:

1. Sleep - Are you getting at least 7 hours of sleep each night?

Most researchers believe that adults need between 7-9 hours of sleep each night to perform at their best.

2. Exercise – Are you getting at least 30 minutes of exercise per day?

Many doctors recommend that adults get between 2.5 hours and 1.5 hours of exercise per week depending on the level of intensity in order to establish or maintain good cardiovascular health.

3. Nutrition - Are you eating a balanced diet for 5 or more days each week?

A balanced diet should include the nutrients needed to enable the body to function at its optimal level. Adults should consume the majority of their calories in lean proteins, whole grains, fresh fruits and vegetables, nuts and legumes at varying degrees depending on one’s body weight, gender and physical activity level.

4. Mindfulness - Do you practice mindfulness or meditate at least once a day?

Click to hear Relaxation Expert, Ambrose WB's, helpful breathing techniques in the pandemic.

This powerful skill allows you to recognize your emotions. Many doctors and scientists recommend that adults get 20 minutes or more of mindfulness each day in order to experience maximum benefits.

5. Mental Health - Do you see a mental health professional at least twice a month?

While this area is often met with the most social resistance with people from all cultures, races and genders because of our society’s negative stigma regarding mental illness, it is perhaps the most impactful area as it can directly aid in developing your ability to productively regulate your emotions. Contrary to popular belief, therapy isn’t just for “those people with problems” it is for everyone. Many people get coaches to help get better at developing personal, athletic and professional skills. Therapists are very similar except for the fact that the skills that they help you develop are more related to your mental and emotional health.

6. Healthy Relationships - Do you have 2 or more healthy relationships in your life?

Healthy is defined as loving accountability. You need people around who can save you from yourself. This is essential to finding peace. Happiness around you is good for you, it liberates your soul.

When you break it down to the level of cells we all have a reason to look carefully at how we are dealing with toxic stress.

Being trapped in the cage of toxic stress is like being in pain without the sight of blood or bruising to aid in helping you identify the location of the wound.

When you reach a certain level of discomfort it will force you to make the needed changes to elevate your life to the next level. You must remember that even when you don’t ask for things, you still have a responsibility to addressing them. Hiding from your pain doesn’t make it go away. If you don’t face your demons, they will eat you alive.

We have to free ourselves from the mistakes of the adults from our childhood and we have a duty to protect the children in our lives from the detrimental aspects of these experiences so they won’t be passed on.

While this blog doesn’t address this at great length, one of the most effective ways to stabilize the affects of toxic stress for children is through providing them consistent access to a well-regulated caregiver or mentor who can serve as a buffer.

It is imperative that you accept what Nelson Mandela meant when he said, “One of the most difficult things is not to change society — but to change yourself.”

It is your time to free yourself so that you can experience that next level of peace. Fishing is about patience. It’s a long marathon that often focuses on stillness. The experience forces you to take time to just be, centering your thoughts so that you can be one with nature. You have to learn to be patient with yourself to find the greatest catch you can imagine inside of you. You are light. You have the power to take your trauma and transform the world. Be strong enough to be willing to show your vulnerability and remember that after knowledge comes redemption.

It's your time to shine, Vulnerability Village.